Political Satire and Humor

survivorI · **Posted:** Sun Nov 01, 2009 10:19 pm

I've got another one. The Lone Ranger and Tonto are out camping. Tonto shakes the Lone Ranger awake and says hey there. You can see the stars. What does that tell you? The Lone Ranger puffs up and says, well see that constellation there? Thats Ursi Major! And see that one? That's the big dipper. And that star there? That's the North Star. I can also tell you that the sky is beautiful and the weather is great! He beamed. Tonto shakes his head sadly. No, Keemosavvy. It's supposed to tell you that someone stole our tent!

survivorI · **Posted:** Mon Nov 02, 2009 2:39 am

I was going to take the flu vaccine. Really I was. But I took a sw airline flight and missed the clinic by two hundred miles.

Sinergy · **Joined:** Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:00 pm **Posts:** 669

OK. I THINK I GET IT!!
Let me see if I understand all this....

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER, YOU GET SHOT.
IF YOU CROSS THE TURKEY BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN PRISON!

BUT, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET:
A DRIVERS LICENSE
A SOCIAL SECURITY CARD
WELFARE
FOOD STAMPS
AND, FREE HEALTH CARE?

Oh well sure. That makes perfect sense.

survivorI · **Posted:** Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:04 pm

In some middle eastern countries a woman who does not cover her face can be stoned. In many countries around the world, a woman who commits adultery is punished to death. In America a woman can leave her husband, move in with another man and bring the children with her while she is still married to the first guy and the first guy ends up paying child support, alimony, medical, and also makes division of assets payments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only in America.

McBeeds · **Joined:** Wed Apr 08, 2009 2:24 pm **Posts:** 510

survivorI wrote:

In some middle eastern countries a woman who does not cover her face can be stoned. In many countries around the world, a woman who commits adultery is punished to death. In America a woman can leave her husband, move in with another man and bring the children with her while she is still married to the first guy and the first guy ends up paying child support, alimony, medical, and also makes division of assets payments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only in America.

Just play country music backwards......you'll get your wife back, your truck back, your dog back.....

survivorI · **Posted:** Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:27 pm

I TRIED playing it all backwards. It just said Screeeeh!!! Just like my ex wife! Just like my ex wife! Just like my ex wife! LoL

GalacticEye · **Posted:** Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:55 pm

It worked for me,[backward CW] until I reached the jail part....and could'nt git out! :wink:

khes · **Posted:** Sun Nov 22, 2009 4:00 am

This looked like a fun link on robinson crusoe and 2012.

http://www.mindmined.com/public_library ... _2012.html
khes

And here is a bad joke on my part. What do politicians say about predictions as the patient is under anthesia? "Oops"

Journeyman · **Joined:** Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:03 pm **Posts:** 115

Ok, this is a bit dated, but still good...

Quote:

President Bush turned up at a school for a visit. When talking to the grade 4 class, he asked if there were any questions. Little Mary put up her hand, and said…

“Mr. President, I have 3 questions.
1. How did you get elected with less than half the vote?
2. Why haven’t you found Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why did you tell us there were WMD’s when you knew there weren’t any?

Just then the bell rings for lunch & they all head out. After lunch, the President again asks for questions. This time Little Johnny stands up and says…

“Mr. President I have 5 questions.
1. How did you get elected with less than half the vote?
2. Why haven’t you found Osama bin Laden yet?
3. Why did you tell us there were WMD’s when you knew there weren’t any?
4. Why did the lunch bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where has Little Mary gone?

Linux Guy · **Joined:** Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:03 am **Posts:** 1220

Best photo of 2010 so far!

survivor727 · DOB: 7/27/1966 AGE 44

My new favorite:

Attachment:

20ij5a9.jpg [ 11.17 KiB | Viewed 155 times ]

Loyalty · **Posted:** Wed May 05, 2010 1:43 am

I found this hilarious !

Quote:

Original Charlie Crist Oil Painting
Help the Republican Party of FL Get Our Money Back!

Item specifics
Original/Reproduction: Original
Listed By: Republican Party of Florida
Signed?: Signed
Medium: Oil
Subject: Untrustworthy, Self-Serving Politician
Style: Photo-Realism
Size Type/Largest Dimension: Medium (Up to 30")
Date of Creation: 2000-Now
Region of Origin: US

Privately Commissioned, High Quality, One of a Kind, Genuine Oil Painting on Fine Linen Canvas

★Canvas is naturally sensitive to changes of temperature and humidity, just as the Charlie Crist’s political convictions are subject to fluctuations in poll numbers.

★Depending upon variety of conditions, the stretch canvas may periodically lose and regain tautness, much like Charlie Crist periodically loosens or regains positions on a variety of issues.

★Ornate gold frame made of manufactured wood, similar to the fabricated conservative values of the politician depicted within.

Estimated Value – PRICELESS!

(originally commissioned and purchased by the Crist/Greer RPOF administration)

A twin painting is known to exist. Also produced and purchased by the Crist/Greer Administration, this second painting depicts former Republican Party of Florida Chairman James A. Greer, Charlie Crist’s close personal friend and twice hand-picked leader of the Florida GOP. The combined value of both pieces is thought to be priceless, given that together Charlie Crist and Jim Greer aided in the swift demise of the Republican Party of Florida’s public stature and financial security.

Original cost of commissioning was borne by Republican Party of Florida donors who donated their time, talents, and hard-earned money to support an untrustworthy politician and his hand-picked chairman.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Original-Charlie-Cr ... 2306ed7c27

December 21 2012

Political Satire and Humor

Who is online