December 21 2012

I've got another one. The Lone Ranger and Tonto are out camping. Tonto shakes the Lone Ranger awake and says hey there. You can see the stars. What does that tell you? The Lone Ranger puffs up and says, well see that constellation there? Thats Ursi Major! And see that one? That's the big dipper. And that star there? That's the North Star. I can also tell you that the sky is beautiful and the weather is great! He beamed. Tonto shakes his head sadly. No, Keemosavvy. It's supposed to tell you that someone stole our tent!

I was going to take the flu vaccine. Really I was. But I took a sw airline flight and missed the clinic by two hundred miles.

OK. I THINK I GET IT!!
Let me see if I understand all this....

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER, YOU GET SHOT.
IF YOU CROSS THE TURKEY BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN PRISON!

BUT, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET:
A DRIVERS LICENSE
A SOCIAL SECURITY CARD
WELFARE
FOOD STAMPS
AND, FREE HEALTH CARE?

Oh well sure. That makes perfect sense.

In some middle eastern countries a woman who does not cover her face can be stoned. In many countries around the world, a woman who commits adultery is punished to death. In America a woman can leave her husband, move in with another man and bring the children with her while she is still married to the first guy and the first guy ends up paying child support, alimony, medical, and also makes division of assets payments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only in America.

Just play country music backwards......you'll get your wife back, your truck back, your dog back.....

I TRIED playing it all backwards. It just said Screeeeh!!! Just like my ex wife! Just like my ex wife! Just like my ex wife! LoL

It worked for me,[backward CW] until I reached the jail part....and could'nt git out!